Online Couples Therapy
across California + Oregon
Serving clients in the San Francisco Bay Area, Los Angeles, Portland and throughout CA + OR
Get to the bottom of your relationship difficulties and learn the skills of connection + conflict resolution.
Most couples wait too long to seek help — not because they don't care, but because they care too much to admit things aren't turning around on their own. Maybe you're worn down by the same fights, or the distance has just quietly grown. Maybe you're not even sure you want to fix it — just that something has to change. Whatever brought you here, that's enough to start.
I help couples with…
repetitive fights, arguments and “negative interaction cycles”
communication issues
healing after infidelity or other betrayals
sexual issues (for more on this, go here)
disconnect, distance and “growing apart”
creating a safe, focused space to discuss difficult topics and deepen in connection and intimacy
navigating ethically non-monogamous and open relationships
preparing to get married
mixed neurotype relationships
co-parenting and navigating life post-baby
making major relationship decisions
issues around aging and/or illness
Not sure if couples therapy is even right for you? If one or both of you has a foot out the door, Discernment Counseling might be a better fit.
Check out my blog article on what to expect from couples therapy and how to get the most out of it.
my approach to couples therapy
I'm an active, structured, trauma-informed therapist — which means I'm not just facilitating a conversation, I'm paying close attention to what's happening between you in real time. I'll have you engage directly with each other so I can see where you get stuck, what pulls you apart, and what your strengths are as a couple. When I notice something getting in the way of your stated goals for therapy, I'll name it and work with it directly rather than let it slide.
A lot of couples come in locked into positions — one pursues, one withdraws; one escalates, one shuts down. Much of this is rooted in attachment — the deeply ingrained ways we learned to seek connection and protect ourselves when we feel threatened. We'll work to understand those patterns, interrupt the cycles they create, and replace them with something more honest and emotionally intimate. That means learning to stay regulated during hard conversations, repair quickly after conflict, and build the kind of secure-functioning relationship where both partners feel safe, seen, and genuinely valued.
I offer customized care, not generic relationship advice. Every couple arrives differently — different histories, different breaking points, different ideas of what they actually want. I'll ask detailed questions, sit with the complexity of your specific dynamic, and resist quick fixes that don't hold. I also have a strong respect for each person's autonomy — a good relationship isn't one where you merge into each other, but one where you can be fully yourself and still deeply connected. Some couples come in motivated and aligned. Others have one partner checked out and another desperate to salvage things. I work with all of it — helping each of you understand your own contributions, and working toward something that feels genuinely worth staying in, not just stable enough to tolerate.
Ready to take the first step?
Getting help for your relationship can feel daunting at first. That’s totally common. A free 15-minute consultation is a low-pressure way for residents of California & Oregon to ask questions and see if I might be the right fit for you.
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Absolutely! I’m an LGBTQ+, kinky and ENM-competent relationship therapist. I’m happy to support you no matter your lifestyle, orientation or relationship structure and regularly work with folks from these communities.
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Yes! So long as there is no intimate partner violence happening, I’m happy to support high conflict couples learn to co-regulate, stop cycles of stress and volatility and learn to repair and understand one another.
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Absolutely not! The best time to come to couples therapy is when you’re starting to notice issues between you and your partner. It’s a much harder task to undo ten years of mutual hurt, misunderstanding and frustration than two, for example.
I will support you wherever you’re at in your relationship stage— I offer both pre-marital counseling and therapy for mixed-agenda couples on the brink of divorce. However, if you’re having issues, now is the best time to start couples therapy.
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I draw on several evidence-based approaches depending on what each couple needs. In practice that means I might focus on attachment and emotional safety, help you develop concrete communication skills, work with what's happening between you in real time, or some combination of all three. I have deep training across multiple modalities — including Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT)— level 2 trained, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)— Core Skills trained, The Developmental Model, ISTDP-Informed Couples Therapy and Transformative Couples Therapy. I'm also a Certified Discernment Counselor for married couples considering divorce, and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist for couples with sexual issues.
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Yes, I have both an attachment and differentiation focus in my work with couples. My work integrates PACT and EFT- which are two couples therapy modalities largely oriented around helping couples with secure attachment and secure-functioning.
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Absolutely! I support partners with trauma histories learn to co-regulate and stay within their “windows of tolerance.” Ie. their personal zone of regulation where they can think clearly and feel calm and comfortable enough to have productive conversations.
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Uncertainty about the future of your relationship is one of the most common things people bring into couples therapy — you don't have to have decided you want to stay in order to start. Many couples come in not knowing what they want, and that ambivalence itself is something we can work with.
That said, if you're married and feeling so depleted or uncertain that the idea of doing the deep work of couples therapy feels like too much, Discernment Counseling might be a better starting point. It's a shorter, more focused process designed specifically to help you gain clarity about the direction of your marriage — before deciding whether couples therapy makes sense.