discernment counseling
I offer a unique, short-term service for married couples on the brink of divorce: Discernment Counseling.
If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, you are in a tough spot. And Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slowdown, take a breath, and look at your options for your marriage.
Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help--and the other is "leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.
Through the process of Discernment Counseling, I will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.
The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.
The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys and good guys.
You will come in as a couple but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with me, your counselor. Why? Because you are starting out in different places.
I respect your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.
As your counselor, I emphasize the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.
Number of Sessions:
A maximum of 5 counseling sessions + an initial phone screening intake with each partner. The first session is usually 2 hours and the subsequent are 1.5 hours.
Discernment Counseling is not suited for these situations:
When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
When there is danger of domestic violence
Video below by the founder of Discernment Counseling, Bill Doherty, explaining what it is:
Take this quiz.
Choose the statement below that best describes your situation.
I’m done with this marriage; it’s too late now even if my spouse were to make major changes. Go to results.
I have mixed feelings about the divorce; sometimes I think it’s a good idea and sometimes I am not sure. Go to results.
I would consider reconciling if my spouse got serious about making major changes. Go to results.
I don’t want this divorce, and I would work hard to get us back together. Go to results.