Online Couples Therapy
across California + Oregon
Get to the bottom of your relationship difficulties and learn the skills of connection + conflict resolution.
Most couples wait too long to seek help — not because they don't care, but because they care too much to admit things aren't turning around on their own. Maybe you're worn down by the same fights, or the distance has just quietly grown. Maybe you're not even sure you want to fix it — just that something has to change. Whatever brought you here, that's enough to start.
I help couples with…
repetitive fights, arguments and “negative interaction cycles”
communication issues
healing after infidelity or other betrayals
sexual issues (for more on this, go here)
disconnect, distance and “growing apart”
creating a safe, focused space to discuss difficult topics and deepen in connection and intimacy
navigating ethically non-monogamous and open relationships
preparing to get married
mixed neurotype relationships
co-parenting and navigating life post-baby
making major relationship decisions
issues around aging and/or illness
If you’re a married couple and one or both of you isn’t sure about the marriage and whether couples therapy can help, click here.
my approach to couples therapy
I’m an active, trauma-informed, depth-oriented, structured, here-and-now-focused couples therapist
I have couples engage directly with one another so that I can observe and give feedback on the real-time barriers to connection and conflict resolution as they show up in the therapy “room”.
I help partners become both secure-functioning and healthily differentiated (honoring of autonomy and differences.).
I offer customized care to each couple. Rather than offering generic relationship advice, I’ll want to understand specifically what each of your perspectives are on the issues at hand, and see where you get stuck and what your strengths are as a couple.
I teach skills to increase understanding and help couples repair from conflict quickly.
I help couples have regulated conversations about hard topics amidst the rise of tensions and emotions. I support you in staying open rather than collapsing, arguing, getting defensive, going into people pleasing or premature problem-solving.
I help you create win-win solutions rather than make choices that breed resentment and medium or long-term unhappiness.
I teach partner co-regulation— how to pay close attention to each other’s words and non-verbal signaling so that you can work together as a team and not get polarized or disconnected around hard topics.
I help you have each other’s “owner’s manual” — to know what hurts and what works for your specific partner.
I help you take a look at your own contributions to the relationship problems and empower you with ways to deal with difficult feelings that facilitate genuine closeness based in honesty and realness.
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Absolutely! I’m an LGBTQ+, kinky and ENM-competent relationship therapist. I’m happy to support you no matter your lifestyle, orientation or relationship structure and regularly work with folks from these communities.
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Yes! So long as there is no intimate partner violence happening, I’m happy to support high conflict couples learn to co-regulate, stop cycles of stress and volatility and learn to repair and understand one another.
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Absolutely not! The best time to come to couples therapy is when you’re starting to notice issues between you and your partner. It’s a much harder task to undo ten years of mutual hurt, misunderstanding and frustration than two, for example.
I will support you wherever you’re at in your relationship stage— I offer both pre-marital counseling and therapy for mixed-agenda couples on the brink of divorce. However, if you’re having issues, now is the best time to start couples therapy.
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I have a love for learning and a desire to be as useful as I can as a therapist so I’ve invested many, many hours and dollars into learning various evidence-based couples therapy modalities including PACT, EFT, The Developmental Model, Transformative Couples Therapy, ISTDP-Informed Couples Therapy.
I’m also a Certified Discernment Counselor and provide Discernment Counseling for married couples on the brink of divorce. You can learn more about that here.
Additionally, I have advanced training in sex therapy and am an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. You can learn more about my couples sex therapy practice here.
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Yes, I have both an attachment and differentiation focus in my work with couples. My work integrates PACT and EFT- which are two couples therapy modalities largely oriented around helping couples with secure attachment and secure-functioning.
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Absolutely! I support partners with trauma histories learn to co-regulate and stay within their “windows of tolerance.” Ie. their personal zone of regulation where they can think clearly and feel calm and comfortable enough to have productive conversations.